same old...same old..

Howzit? (This is a very popular South Africa greeting) I promise, though I am inquiring about your well-being in a forum that does not allow any reply that I do care and am not patronizing you..i really just wanted to say howzit. Anyway, things in the southern hemisphere (well Helena Court in Cape Town at least) are going quite well. This past

Shabbat was really wonderful, I went back to Sea Point and was again touched by the energy of the rabbis, the beautiful davening, the insightful speeches, the wonderful people who continue to become new friends and of course the delicious meat. Then on Sunday, I played Frisbee on a beautiful beach…again. Blah, blah… sorry it seems like I repeat myself, but I guess its nice to have a little bit of a routine.

On Sunday night, my awesome, Christian roommate and I began our long-awaited chevruta. We have decided that each week we will switch off introducing a text from our own religion and discuss it using our different religious lenses. Discussing a letter that she wrote including various religious themes, we proceeded to discuss the roles that God plays in our lives. Her unwavering love and faith in God was really striking. It made me reflect upon my own view on and relationship with God and I would like to share them. I think that I often try to infuse the motivation for my actions along with the actions themselves into my faith. I often refer to my attempts to treat people well as an expression of my faith because I believe that constantly focusing on how I should act is a way to live in God’s image and a way to put the purpose of the Torah (at least according to Rabbi Akiva) into action. While this does not seem negative in any sense for it tangles my belief and actions together in a way that creates a Jewish context for everything I do, I think that I rely upon this aspect of my Judaism (trying to treat people well and make moral decisions) to define my faith without ever addressing what I truly believe God to be. As much as I avoid the issue, in the way that I practice Judaism, faith is ultimately referring to my relationship with God.

I realized this at a shir on Monday night (something that I have happily adopted as part of my weekly routine) when the topic of discussion was faith, what it is and where it lies. In itm we discussed the idea of emunah, faith, and how to attain it. I was troubled by the definitiveness the sources were requiring of true believers because to me faith, especially in relationship to God, has always been so indefinable. To be told that this is not ok, that it needs to be something I fully understand was a little disconcerting and angering in the beginning. But as I thought about it more I came to realize that the life I lead and the things I both think about and believe in should lead me somewhere, to a definite understanding not in the sense of knowing what God is but at least to a declaration of an unwavering faith in some being known as God. Until now I think I have always thought of these things as the same but I have decided that they are quite dichotomous. I know that I believe in God, God’s oneness, God’s power and while at times I feel uncomfortable attaching certain terms that limit my understanding, I think that genuine, definite belief does provide God with some sort of identity, and in turn with some sort of understanding for the believer. While certain things remain unknown to me and I will never be possible to fully grasp every aspect of God, I suppose I am ok with that. The alternative would be too easy and what we define as faith would instead be a definite answer. And well, that would just be no fun.

Continuing on with exciting events that occurred on Monday, in my Liberation in Southern Africa class, the professor brought in a speaker Neville Alexander, who was a very active freedom fighter in the South African struggle and whose name popped up in “Long Walk to Freedom” numerous times. He discussed the transition from passive resistance to am armed struggle in the 1960’s as well as his 11 ears spent on robbin Island working with Nelson Mandela to turn prison into a educational “university” for all those incarcerated. His intelligence, articulateness and insight allowed me to catch a little glimpse of how amazing all of these brave people were. The Nationalist Government suppressed and persecuted them for so many decades and they were still able to remain focused on the plight of their entire people and continue to make contributions to the well being of South Africa today. It was humbling to be in this man’s presence, to visually have access to one being who has somehow positively impacted the lives of countless Africans.

After hearing about the evolution of struggle in South Africa, I was exposed to one of the problems yet to be remedied in this country since its liberation. Monday marked my second volunteer experience in the township of Khaylitscha. Traveling through such poor conditions, I expected to be overwhelmed by the differences, by the cultural and language barriers that were clearly present. But as I entered the computer room in the community center, the exact opposite occurred. While teaching computer literacy to kids who very much want to learn how to use these machines and who have such an appreciation for them can be a wonderful experience, it is rather difficult to find time to interact with them. They were very focused on the task at hand which is the point, but I felt unnecessary. And while it may be selfish of me to feel unfulfilled and underwhelmed, I think that I am going to try to find a different program to be a part of, one that will allow me to feel like I am making a contribution and being educated in return, one that will allow me to feel the same way I felt when I left Kensington last Thursday.

The brief period of time that was spent interacting did however grant me insight into this new world I hope to become acquainted with. As a group of 13 year old girls were introducing themselves to me, they asked me if I had any children. I did not know how to react and because we were only there in the context of learning how to use computers, I figured there would never be any way to converse about the lives of these kids, any way to form strong relationships and learn why this is the first thing they think to ask a stranger amidst playing solitaire and typing the names of fruit

All these complex experiences, along with all the ones I have had an presume I will continue to have, have really allowed me to feel connected to this country. I marvel everyday at the attempts that need to be made to continue to rebuild South Africa; everyone must constantly understand their role within it and while often this is a product of glaring inequality, this reconstruction allows people to be a part of a fluid process of change. I do not think I have ever thought about American in this way. While I value the life I have been privileged to lead as a result of growing up in a democratic meritocracy (well sort of), I do not feel like its history is my history, like the values that are strived for are the same that I attempt to attain. Here, the constant awareness of equality, inequality and identity are things I am proud to think about every day. It reminds me a little bit of Israel, because there I feel like my simple presence forces me to consider so many things that I cannot ignore, my religious identity, that of those around me and embracing difference both within and outside of the communities I identify with. I love being enriched not only by the people around me but by my surroundings as well, as I hope that later in life I am able to find a country to live in that provides me with that privilege.

That’s about enough pretentiousness for one night!

South African Ulpan:

Costume (Cozi) – noun – your smart enough to figure out how to pronounce this.Bathing suit.

Jamal wore his costume to the beach. (This is not a very smart sentence…I apologize)

Cheers from SA!